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dreams


Dreams are a rich source of fantasy for many people.  Unfulfilled desires in waking life can manifest in our sleeping life.  As dreams are direct, if cryptic, messages from our subconscious minds, we can come to understand a lot about our deep feelings and true motivations through our dream experiences.  Many repressed sexual desires and guilt feelings show up, and, according to Freud, all our dream activity relates in some way to sex.

Whether we wish to go that far or not, certainly dreams have a lot to teach us about our sexual natures and our fears and anxieties.  If you are a dream recaller, study your dreams for messages and clues about your sexual life, real or imagined.  If you're not, take a course or read some books about achieving recall as it's a most worthwhile pursuit.  For the purposes of this web site, I do want to mention two particular areas about dreams that are relevant — erotic dreams and dream lovers.

The source of erotic dreams can be sexual repression, expression of fears and anxieties, or wish-fulfilment.

Sexual repression, if severe enough to prevent a person from having an active or fulfilling sex life, can show up in dreams through highly erotic experiences that often leave the dreamer embarrassed and confused.
In these cases, there is a big contrast between the waking sexuality and the dream experiences.  Those who recall and study their dreams can learn about their needs and desires in this way.

Similarly, fears and anxieties about personal or shared sexual behaviour and feelings often show up in dreams.  Sometimes, they may be disguised as other activities or events, but they can also appear in the form of explicit sexual images that are enjoyable, yet disturbing.  For instance, if you should dream of having sex with your mother or your boss, you may worry that you have illicit feelings for these people.  However, the dream may be conveying something else altogether, such as a message regarding your relationship with these people.

It may be overly simplistic to say that those who have balanced and happy sex lives in reality need not dream about sex at night, but to some extent, this is true.  Dreams have a lesson to teach us, if we are prepared to listen.  If you're regularly having erotic experiences during sleep, check your daytime reality, and see where the differences and similarities lie.  Don't read too much into them without professional input — which would certainly be recommended if a particular dream keeps recurring.

What of people who are simply highly sexed and enjoy having erotic dream experiences?  Certainly, dreams can be 'incubated' to produce specific images and events and there's nothing wrong with that.  It's just another way to fantasise.  If not done deliberately, it could be an expression of 'wish-fulfilment', which simply means that we dream of something that our hearts desire, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.  So, a woman without a sex partner might dream of having sex with Tom Cruise every night, or a married guy who isn't getting as much sex as he wants might dream he's at a Roman orgy and Madonna is dancing just for him!

You can actually conjure up a dream lover, if you wish.  I call this the ultimate safe sex!  It may not be quite as good as the real thing but it's an exciting substitute if you do it right.  According to Denise Linn, an international dream therapist, 'Taking a dream lover, or lots of lovers, is one constructive way to fulfil the desire for diversity while keeping your present love relationship intact.  It is also excellent for the single person since a dream lover can appease the compulsive need to be with a partner. Consequently, you can be more selective in your choice of a companion'.  In her book, Pocket Full of Dreams, Denise suggests a specific meditation for conjuring up a dream lover.  She also speaks about opening the sexual energy centre of the body, allowing this channel to flow freely through.  'Allow it to open and your sexuality will increase', says Denise.  Saying affirmations at bedtime can enhance dream experiences.  Here are two Denise recommends: 'Tonight, show me the highest potential of sexuality', and 'Tonight, let me dream of divine intimacy with my partner'.  Finally, 'Dreams can be a pathway to ecstasy.  They can be a way to expand love for others and love of self and can be used to work out sexual difficulties within waking life'.

Research shows that 70 per cent of women of all ages have erotic dreams, and statistics for males are even higher.  Therefore, the potential for personal growth and knowledge via this mysterious realm of experience that we inhabit every night is unlimited.  You can use it as another way to enhance your sexuality.

Fantasy can add spice and fun to your sex life.  Don't be afraid to try it whatever your age and experience.  Remember, your mind is where sexual feeling begins, and there are no limits to your thoughts except those you put on them yourself because of fears and guilt.

Free your mind and watch your world, sexual and otherwise, expand.

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