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fantasy overview

There are common fantasies that many confess to enjoying, and then there are wild and wonderful ones that defy imagination.  You know the old adage — whatever anyone of us can imagine doing sexually, someone's tried!

A fantasy is a mind game in which the imagination takes flight and places the fantasiser in a sexual situation that he or she may not in reality ever contemplate.  Most people have a favourite one that is replayed either constantly or intermittently.

Some common fantasies are: being in a threesome, being watched, having sex in a public place, being tied up, beating or being beaten, being taken by force, sex with a total stranger, having sex with a favourite movie or pop star, having sex in some type of dangerous situation.

Fantasies enhance the physical sensations of sex because the mind is the starter motor for sexual feelings and thoughts are the petrol!

When babies touch their own genitals, it is purely a tactile sensation, but by puberty, most of us realise that having the mind and the body together in gear increases excitement.  Why do you think they supply sex magazines and books in sperm donation clinics?

Again, I'm continually asked if fantasising is 'normal'.  I remember one listener being very coy about his question until I assured him he was safe to disclose on air.  He finally told me that he had a fantasy he was very embarrassed about and then revealed that he lusts after women in hair rollers!  I didn't dare ask him if he hangs around hairdressing salons in the hope of catching a glimpse of one, but just comforted him with the thought that his fantasy doesn't hurt anyone and as long as it doesn't stop him enjoying sex in a normal way, there is no problem.


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