do not believe bisexuality exists and, in fact, it's looked down
upon by some gays who think it's a cop-out for not facing up to
homosexual tendencies. Is the implication, then, that bisexuality
is more acceptable than homosexuality? Is it better to be
half 'normal' than not at all? It buys into a lot of other
issues, doesn't it?
I believe that there
are genuinely bisexual people, that is, people who are more or less
equally attracted to males and females sexually. Some openly
adopt this as a way of life, sleeping with both sexes as the opportunity
arises. Some marry one sex while continuing affairs with the
opposite. It may sound confusing but in the sense that we
are all simply 'sexual' it's quite possible to be attracted to both
men and women equally.
A very broad-minded and
enlightened philosophy teaches that we do not fall in love with
men and women at all, but with individual persons. On that
basis, maybe bisexuals are not less honest but more honest than
the rest of us. You'll have to make up your own mind about
It's enough to say that
bisexuality exists, and is probably far more common than we realise
because a lot of bisexuals would never label themselves as such.
Many gays have experimented with both sexes anyway. I
know of only one case where a gay guy told me that he could not
even get an erection with a woman. He was in his forties and,
while he had been attracted to a number of women during his life,
he could not perform with them sexually. There may have been
psychological reasons for this but I would say that he was an exception.
Gay guys might choose never to be sexually responsive to a
woman but for it to be physically impossible sounds unusual.
Whether or not homosexuality
is 'normal' is a debate that will no doubt continue to divide the
community. It is not an easy lifestyle and I can't see anyone
choosing it just to be different or difficult. The whole concept
of 'being gay' is much more than a sexual choice. It is a
lifestyle, a philosophy, a way of being. Therefore, who you
choose to sleep with does not necessarily decide your sexual identity.
For example, in threesomes and group sex situations, are the
women gay because they touch and kiss each other? I think
If you believe you are
gay all the way, then embrace it and be proud, love yourself regardless
of what others think, but don't let anyone else decide your identity
for you. People who are the most against a particular way
of life or choice usually have a hidden agenda, for example, homophobics
may in fact have doubts about their own sexuality, so don't let
them lay their hatred on you.
A gay friend once said
to me that if all the homosexuals in the world were to turn purple,
we'd be amazed at the number of them, and who they are! All
sexual labels are limited at best, and divisive at worst.