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Loneliness is a state of mind.  It is only a negative thing if we perceive it to be.  Solitude is highly enjoyable when we see it as time to commune with ourselves, to enjoy our own interests and company, to recharge our batteries.

The society we live in is couple-oriented so singles are often made to feel isolated and unwanted.  We have to acknowledge that some people are single because they possess poor communication skills.  After a number of rejections, they give up and sit at home night after night, feeling more and more alone, self-esteem plummeting.  This is a very negative place to be and totally unnecessary.  The first idea we need to jettison is the one that says we must all be out looking for someone special.  It's a bit like trying to buy love over the counter at a shop.  Love doesn't appear on command.  If you live your life waiting for it, you might miss a lot of other nice stuff that's around.

Go out to meet people, not one special person.  There's nothing wrong with having a clear picture in your mind of the type of person you want. This 'blueprint' can be the basis of your dreams, but remember all wishes require belief before they can come true.  So, ask for what you want in your heart and then, forget it.  Get on with the rest of your life, knowing that when the time is right and you are ready, that special someone will appear.

How do you deal with loneliness in the meantime?  Join clubs, try new hobbies and interests, reach out to other lonely people, read, go for walks, take classes in self-esteem, do personal growth work, smile a lot, for happiness is catching.  Feel good about yourself so that when someone special does arrive, you'll have a whole person to offer, not one who is needy and dependent and desperate.



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