is a state of mind. It is only a negative thing if we perceive
it to be. Solitude is highly enjoyable when we see it as time
to commune with ourselves, to enjoy our own interests and company,
to recharge our batteries.
The society we live in
is couple-oriented so singles are often made to feel isolated and
unwanted. We have to acknowledge that some people are single
because they possess poor communication skills. After a number
of rejections, they give up and sit at home night after night, feeling
more and more alone, self-esteem plummeting. This is a very
negative place to be and totally unnecessary. The first idea
we need to jettison is the one that says we must all be out looking
for someone special. It's a bit like trying to buy love over
the counter at a shop. Love doesn't appear on command.
If you live your life waiting for it, you might miss a lot of other
nice stuff that's around.
Go out to meet people,
not one special person. There's nothing wrong with having
a clear picture in your mind of the type of person you want. This
'blueprint' can be the basis of your dreams, but remember all wishes
require belief before they can come true. So, ask for what
you want in your heart and then, forget it. Get on with the
rest of your life, knowing that when the time is right and you are
ready, that special someone will appear.
How do you deal with
loneliness in the meantime? Join clubs, try new hobbies and
interests, reach out to other lonely people, read, go for walks,
take classes in self-esteem, do personal growth work, smile a lot,
for happiness is catching. Feel good about yourself so that
when someone special does arrive, you'll have a whole person to
offer, not one who is needy and dependent and desperate.