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premature ejaculation

This condition is far more common than the average person would believe.  So, guys, if you suffer from PE, you're not alone and there is help available.

In some ways, it's a less complex problem than impotence and in others, it's more difficult to fix.  Impotence can be a long-term problem, particularly in older men and as a result of illness, but often it occurs in short bursts and then never recurs.  In other words, it's specific to a time and cause in a man's life.  Therefore, it has a temporary and fixable quality about it.

I always ask male clients who are suffering from sexual dysfunction if they've had any major lifestyle changes at the time of the occurrence because even something like a job or home change can cause problems.  If a condition has existed only over a certain period of time, looking at when it began can often supply a direct clue, as a marriage break-up, or other stressful event, could have triggered it.

With PE, however, the cause is likely to stem from puberty and the condition is usually long term.  Some men, and their partners, literally suffer for years, because of the mistaken belief that nothing can be done.

Early masturbation is a common cause of PE, as boys often have to touch themselves in clandestine circumstances and they want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.  If a boy begins masturbating before puberty, and he doesn't marry or have regular sex till he's in his twenties, that's a long time for the pattern to become entrenched.

The same applies to early intercourse in furtive situations, such as the back seat of cars, or front verandahs, or hiding in the bushes.  Again, it has to be quick and undertaken in an atmosphere of apprehension.

These early experiences set up in men's minds the expectation of danger and expediency which by adulthood is firmly fixed and difficult to shift.

Having an overly-strict or prescriptive childhood can also be a cause, as is a dominating parent and being scolded for masturbating or having wet dreams.  A shy, introverted man with low self-esteem, who doesn't possess a lot of confidence in his dealings with women, will also be a prime candidate.  Basically, a PE sufferer is over-eager.  The less often he has sex, the more pronounced the problem will be, so one of the most popular 'cures' is to have more sex!  Good muscle control is obviously necessary to keep sex going long enough for the female partner to get enjoyment through intercourse, so a fit man is likely to have fewer problems.

A lot of clients and listeners ask me what constitutes PE; in other words, how quick is quick?  Well, it does vary from man to man.  Some can keep going for hours and others just minutes, but it's not really a 'problem' unless a man can barely stay erect long enough to enter his partner, or if he ejaculates just as he's about to thrust.  If either of these happen, it's extremely frustrating for the woman and humiliating for the man.

As with impotence, the relationship itself can corrode under these circumstances, especially if they are allowed to continue unchecked.  Single men can become so afraid of failure that they stop dating or initiating sex altogether.  Married men sometimes don't perceive PE as a problem and only seek help in middle age, or if their wives threaten to walk out.  In a way, sexual dysfunction is more difficult for guys with partners as they have to confront their limitations every day, but PE, in particular, is very difficult to correct outside the context of a stable relationship as a loving partner can be a distinct asset in the lessening of this condition.

Some guys suffer PE occasionally while other unfortunate individuals can't ever make love without it happening.



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